How to be happy: a psychotherapist’s view

Psychology
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jan/18/how-to-be-happy-psychotherapist
Jan 18th 2011 by The Guardian | UK
The thesis of this article is: early relationships alter our brains before we learn to speak. The question is: how does that affect our happiness? Philippa Perry is looking for an answer.

First of all, there is a simple set of instructions that guarantees happiness. It is a fact that a set of unique relationships and experiences form us to the shape we are in now. Next to that we all have a unique combination of genes, but there are several underlying principles that can help us as well. If you want to know them, you can read the article.


When we are born, our parents or caregivers have a very important role in the forming of our brains. They have to teach us how to act and react in relation with other people to make us successful in life. This process of growing up is a very important process, as our brains are still developing. For example, if some of the moods we can have are punished or ignored, the trouble can arise later on in life.
You can compare it with playing the piano, when someone learns this at a young age, all the connections in the brain can still be made easily. When someone wants to learn to play the piano at an older age, this takes more effort. It is the same with pathways in the brain that are necessary for a person to learn to control their selves. The main lesson of this article is that the brain develops so slowly that most of the patterns for how you feel are formed before you can reason with yourself and others. The first two years are the most critical for this. But it is not too late if you had an unhappy childhood, the brains are flexible and later on in life you can change the chemistry in your head to make the connections. If you want to know how you do that, you can read it in the article.

I have already heard before, from my mother, that this process of growing up is very important. I have known somebody who was adopted and was completely disturbed in all of his relationships. It is sad but true that someone can have the bad luck and can suffer a life long from the mistakes that were made when they were little kids.